“When I have to search a student’s cell phone, I’m sick to my stomach at what I find. It gets worse every year.”
“Parents. I am an assistant principal in a middle school (grades 6-8). My number one job is to create and sustain a school environment where both students and teachers feel safe (physically, emotionally, and mentally) to teach, learn, innovate, and socialize. I take my job very seriously, as do my colleagues. We work very hard to grow in our capacity to do this work on a daily basis.
I can’t begin to describe how much time I spend every day dealing with issues that stem from unsupervised cell phone usage by our students. In the situations where I have to search a student’s cell phone, I often get sick to my stomach at what I find (highly inappropriate photos, videos, messages, social media usage, etc.). The things our students are willing to try and be a part of at such a young age gets worse and worse every year.
When I call parents to inform them of what is going on, I always ask them how often they search their kids’ phones. The shock gets even worse when 90% of them say hardly ever or never. And then they get upset at me, accuse me of lying to them about their kids’ roles in certain situations, or expect me to somehow fix the situation.
Parents. It is your number one job as a parent to get in your kids’ way at all times. Kids do not deserve privacy without accountability. You own their devices, not them. You should be having the hard conversations with them about life, relationships, their bodies, their futures, etc. It is your responsibility to provide social and emotional support, help build coping skills, and monitor their activities, especially online. Please stop actively working against the schools and start working with us. We are not the enemy. We are trying to fulfill the role of both parent and educator in many situations, and that is a very delicate and difficult line to walk.
Youth leaders are engaged in a silent war with very real forces of darkness. Arm yourself when you join Youth Leaders Only.
Here are four tips for ‘getting in your child’s way.’ You can modify any of these based on your relationship with your children.
Eat dinner as a family every night possible and actually talk. No devices allowed. Current research suggests parents only spend about 8 minutes a day in conversation with their kids. That’s unacceptable.
Check their devices RANDOMLY AND OFTEN. You need to learn how to navigate their world. Inform yourself on how to use certain apps. Keep up with what apps are the most downloaded in the App Store. Make your kid show you their content and conversations and explain to you what is going on. Then give them advice. MAKE CONTENT WITH THEM and be part of their online presence.
Create opportunities for them to have new experiences. Take them to do new things, see new things, and learn new things. This not only strengthens their brain development, emotional development, and builds resiliency in kids, but it also strengthens your relationship with them.
And finally, do not let them take their phones into their rooms, shut their doors, and disappear for hours. Nothing good ever happens on the internet behind closed doors. The online world is by far the most dangerous place our students go to every day. We can’t assume they will intuitively know how to navigate the dangers of the online world on their own.
Passport 2 Purity helps guide you through sessions to begin having conversations with your child about sex and purity in God’s plan.
As we are talking about issues with Purity and Sex in our weekly Middle School environments, I want to be honest with you as a Middle School Parent… I don’t like these talks either! This stuff is personal, and yet we live in a world that entices us to make our personal issues public, while exploiting every bit of them for whatever means are out there. That is a main reason the Oakwood Student Ministry carries that mindset that “SOMETHING MUST BE SAID” in regards to God’s Plan and what we are up against on a daily basis.
The second thing I want you to know is that, even though I am a Pastor in this area, I am still hoping and praying for my own kids to walk rightly in the Lord and choose a life of Purity. That is why Laura and I have been intentional with Katie, as she entered 6th grade, and Noah, as he is midway through 5th grade, to enter into the conversation about sex and God’s view of purity within His plan.
Our advice to you, whether you use this material or not, is to intentionally plan a time that is best for you and your child to have the deep conversations that will direct the future of your child’s sexuality toward Godly Wisdom, rather than the standards brought forth by the culture and worldly views we live in today.
Noah and I Toured the 750 foot tall Tower of the Americas during our Passport 2 Purity Getaway.
By the way, my time with Noah was not ALL SERIOUS stuff! I’m not that boring and he can’t stay still for that long. We planned a Spurs Game outing, ate tons of pancakes at IHOP, played games at Dave and Buster’s, and enjoyed some one-on-one time together. Yes, we shared deep things dealing with the purity issues of today, but we also connected in a way that will set up an ongoing conversation in the days to come. That, in my mind, is priceless.
Laura and I recommend Passport 2 Purity and the Family Life Ministry, because we know we need tools to help launch us into this teenage phase of life. We hope and pray that all our Middle School Parents have the opportunity to do the same, because we have already seen the positive impact.
If you are interested in the materials, click on the image and links below:
None of Your Business is a four-part series centered around the topic of sex. The goal is to help your middle schooler both understand God’s design for sex and begin to think about healthy boundaries and practices when it comes to sex. Though it may be an awkward, new, or serious conversation for students in this phase to have, it’s an important one that will help them frame their curiosity, impulses, choices, and experiences concerning sex in a healthy, God-designed way.
Part 1, Feb 9
GENESIS 1:27-28a; GENESIS 2:25; GENESIS 2:24 Sex is good, and sex is powerful.
Part 2, Feb 12
1 CORINTHIANS 6:18-20 Technology is good, and technology is powerful.
Part 3, Feb 16
1 JOHN 1:5-7; 1 JOHN 1:8-9 Confession is good, and confession is powerful.
Part 4, Feb 19
1 CORINTHIANS 6:18; 1 CORINTHIANS 6:19-20; 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 Boundaries are good, and boundaries are powerful.
Right now, in our culture, students have a great opportunity to absorb a great amount of knowledge at their fingertips. They have the ability to ask Google or Siri for life advice, what a word means, or dive into deeper aspects of a subject they are learning at school. However, in the world of vast knowledge, a question arises. “What is the right WAY to use all this?” Even with all the knowledge in the world, the human race still needs direction on how to use it properly. How can we make right choices with all our knowledge? This only comes from God. It is called WISDOM.
The Good Life is a four-week series that focuses on the book of Proverbs. It covers the wisdom that can help middle schoolers take a step toward living the good life—God’s best life for them! Real wisdom is hard to come by, but so very important in directing students’ steps. Pointing them to the truth in the book of Proverbs will give them the foundational pieces of wisdom they can not only understand, but also begin to apply to their lives and faith.
THINK ABOUT THIS
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” PROVERBS 16:9, NIV
DO THIS
MORNING TIME
Take time to share what you personally think is the good life with your kid this week. Then, ask them to tell you what the good life looks like to them, too.
MEAL TIME
Take turns sharing with each other about areas in your life where you could use some wisdom right now. Then, share some ideas about where you could find the wisdom you need.
DRIVE TIME
Ask your kid where they see you being the least patient with them. Listen to their response and try to exercise more patience the next time you find yourself in that specific situation with your kid.
BED TIME
Watch the movie, Eighth Grade, to learn about what middle school is like these days. (Watch it without your kid as the content may not be age appropriate yet!) Take note of what middle schoolers are dealing with and talk to your kid about some of the things that stuck out to you from the film.
“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
Thankfully, God doesn’t
leave us to wander through life without any directions. He has given us a set
of expectations to show us clearly which paths will take us where we need to
go. These expectations aren’t arbitrary rules imposed on us just to make our
lives harder. Quite the opposite—God’s expectations exist to give our lives
meaning and direction. One important thing to know about God’s expectations:
they can’t be faked. They have to start with serious heart transformation that
only comes from knowing Jesus Christ.
Act. Love. Walk.
Three signs that we are being transformed from the inside out by Jesus. Three signs to point your students squarely in the direction that God wants them to go.
Nov. 6 Week 1 – ACT JUSTLY
Nov. 13 Week 2 – LOVE MERCY
Nov. 20 Week 3 – ALL ACCESS BELIEVE WEEKEND LAUNCH
Our annual Thanksgiving service is Tuesday, November 26at 6:30p in the Main Worship Center. If you would like to participate in the Thanksgiving Cook-off, bring your award-winning CHILI or PIE/DESSERT to the Branch at 6p.
Wednesday, Nov. 27 – NO FUSION HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
Our Identity Series focused on a great Application this past Wednesday. Three elements can help us shape and understand our personal Mission connected to the life calling given to us as we follow Jesus Christ.
Mission Failed: The truth is that when we are NOT built up in the TRUTH that God created us and said we are “very good,” the TRUTH that we are created as “His Masterpiece,” in order to do good works, or the TRUTH that in His book are written “all the days of our life,” we may find ourselves living a life feeling like we have already failed the mission. Our fear of failure keeps us from moving forward. We take ourselves out of the game and really don’t pursue the coach to ask for play time. We find our lives filled up with distractions and might think that this pursuit of Christ is just a set of rules we tip toe around and hope we don’t get caught, get struck down, or get out of line.
I have to leave my passion: The risk factor of following Jesus seems to be coupled with a subtraction of what we enjoy. We end up thinking “If I dedicate all I am to Jesus, I will probably have to stop playing my team sport, stop spending time on that activity I enjoy, or spend all my time following around that Pastor that seems to not work much.” The TRUTH is that God wants to meet us where we are, shine through us, and use us as His vessels to be ambassadors for the Kingdom of God.
BURDEN + PASSION + VISION: With the three elements of Mission combined, we find that we can join together beyond the walls of the church to care for our BURDEN, while pursuing our PASSIONS that God created us to live, all wrapped in the VISION that our Father has for us as we live here on Earth. The freedom from feeling like a failure and the pursuit of the MISSION gives us the ability to rise from living a defeated life in Christ to find a personal calling that lines us up with our hearts desire for life and satisfaction.
SO WHAT IS YOUR MISSION? Taking a look at the image above, what three elements lead to a MISSION for your life? What would it look like if you decided to give up the fear of failure and sign on to a MISSION given to you from GOD? Jesus sent out the disciples in Matthew 10 to preach that “The Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand.” What if you could join in with the Kingdom of Heaven and make an impact for eternity? I know that in my personal life, when I come back to these elements in my life, I feel the wind in my sails. I walk away from an event, a ministry, a serve project, or my family and think, “I could do that for the rest of my life.”
Lee Strobel makes the case for the existence of an intelligent designer.
A former atheist, Lee Strobel is now a well-known apologist for the Christian faith. He is also a popular public speaker and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author of more than 20 books including The Case for Christ,The Case for Faith and his newest release, The Case for Miracles. Educated at the University of Missouri and Yale Law School, Lee worked …More by Lee Strobel
THE ISSUE: Does current scientific data support the theory that the universe was created with intelligent design?
WHAT SKEPTICS SAY: Belief in an intelligent designer is a religious theory that has no basis in science. Scientific data supports evolutionary theory, and everyone knows it.
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1). “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands” (Psalm 19:1).
THE DESIGN HYPOTHESIS
“A big, fundamental question, like belief in God (or disbelief), is not settled by a single argument,” said physicist-turned-theologian John Polkinghorne in Quarks, Chaos, and Christianity. “It’s too complicated for that. What one has to do is to consider lots of different issues and see whether or not the answers one gets add up to a total picture that makes sense.”
That’s the approach I took in my investigation. I probed six different scientific disciplines to see whether they point toward or away from the existence of an intelligent designer.
When I opened my mind to the possibility of an explanation beyond naturalism, the theory denying any supernatural existence in the universe, I found that the design hypothesis — that says there is a purposeful, intelligent, created order to the universe — most clearly accounted for the evidence of science. Consider some of the facts from my investigation:
The Evidence of Cosmology
Thanks to scientific discoveries of the last 50 years, the ancient kalam cosmological argument has taken on a powerful and persuasive new force. As described by William Lane Craig, the argument is simple yet elegant: First, whatever begins to exist has a cause.
Second, the universe had a beginning. Based on the data, virtually all cosmologists now agree the universe began in the Big Bang at some specific point in the past. Craig stressed that even alternate theories for the origin of the universe require a beginning.
The conclusion then follows from the two premises: Therefore, the universe has a cause. Even once-agnostic astronomer Robert Jastrow conceded the essential elements of Christianity and modern cosmology are the same: “The chain of events leading to man commenced suddenly and sharply, at a definite moment in time, in a flash of light and energy.”
The Evidence of Physics
One of the most striking discoveries of modern science has been that the laws and constants of physics unexpectedly conspire in an extraordinary way to make the universe habitable for life. For instance, said physicist-philosopher Robin Collins, gravity is fine-tuned to one part in a hundred million billion billion billion billion billion.
The cosmological constant, which represents the energy density of space, is as precise as throwing a dart from space and hitting a bull’s-eye just a trillionth of a trillionth of an inch in diameter on Earth. One expert said there are more than 30 physical or cosmological parameters that require precise calibration in order to produce a universe that can sustain life.
The Evidence of Astronomy
Similar to the fine-tuning of physics, Earth’s position in the universe and its intricately choreographed geological and chemical processes work together with exquisite efficiency to create a safe place for humans to live.
For example, astronomer Guillermo Gonzalez and science philosopher Jay Wesley Richards said it would take a star with the highly unusual properties of our sun — the right mass, the right light, the right age, the right distance, the right orbit, the right galaxy, the right location — to nurture living organisms on a circling planet. Numerous factors make our solar system and our location in the universe just right for a habitable environment.
What’s more, the exceptional conditions that make life possible also happen to make our planet strangely well-suited for viewing and analyzing the universe and our environment. All of this suggests our planet may be rare, if not unique, and that the Creator wanted us to be able to explore the cosmos.
“If the universe had not been made with the most exacting precision, we could never have come into existence,” said Harvard-educated astrophysicist John A. O’Keefe of NASA. “It is my view that these circumstances indicate the universe was created for man to live in.”
The Evidence of Biochemistry
Darwin said, “If it could be demonstrated that any complex organ existed which could not possibly have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down.” Biochemist Michael Behe has demonstrated exactly that through his description of “irreducibly complex” molecular machines.
These complicated, microscopic contraptions, such as cilia and bacterial flagella, are extremely unlikely to have been built piece-by-piece through Darwinian processes, because they had to be fully present in order to function. Other examples include the incredible system of transporting proteins within cells and the intricate process of blood clotting.
More than just a devastating challenge to Darwinism, these amazing biological systems which far exceed the capacity of human technology point toward a transcendent Creator. “My conclusion,” said Behe, “can be summed up in a single word: design. I say that based on science. I believe that irreducibly complex systems are strong evidence of a purposeful, intentional design by an intelligent agent.”
The Evidence of Biological Information
The six feet of DNA coiled inside every one of our body’s one hundred trillion cells contain a four-letter chemical alphabet that spells out precise assembly instructions for all the proteins from which our bodies are made. Cambridge-educated Stephen Meyer demonstrated that no hypothesis has come close to explaining how information got into biological matter by naturalistic means.
On the contrary, he said that whenever we find a sequential arrangement that’s complex and corresponds to an independent pattern or function such as books and computer code, this kind of information is always the product of intelligence.
“Information is the hallmark of a mind,” Meyer said. “And purely from the evidence of genetics and biology, we can infer the existence of a mind that’s far greater than our own — a conscious, purposeful, rational, intelligent designer who’s amazingly creative.”
The Evidence of Consciousness
Many scientists are concluding that the laws of chemistry and physics cannot explain our experience of consciousness. Professor J.P. Moreland defined consciousness as our introspection, sensations, thoughts, emotions, desires, beliefs and free choices that make us alive and aware. The “soul” contains our consciousness and animates our body.
According to a researcher who showed that consciousness can continue after a person’s brain has stopped functioning, current scientific findings “would support the view that ‘mind,’ ‘consciousness,’ or the ‘soul’ is a separate entity from the brain.”
As Moreland said, “You can’t get something from nothing.” If the universe began with dead matter having no conscious, “how, then, do you get something totally different — consciousness, living, thinking, feeling, believing creatures — from materials that don’t have that?” But if everything started with the mind of God, he said, “we don’t have a problem with explaining the origin of our mind.”
Science and Faith Don’t have to be AT ODDS with one another.
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